Realization

I just noticed that it has been close to a month since my last post. Great timing since it seems that during this last month I have had several great realizations come to me. I will list them and they are not in order of greatest to least. It is mornning and listing these items on order of importance seems like to much work and excercise for my mind at this time.

(I recently made a trip to Nevada, IA to look at a venue for a wedding that I am doing in August and stopped by the Library to see if there were any interesting books on tape to listen to on my journey. I was just in that kind of mood. I saw a reading by Nora Ephron called "I Hate my Neck" A group of short essays on a womens frustration with aging and lessons she had learned along the way. I had heard Nora on a show quite awhile ago about this book and enjoyed her dry sense of humor. So as I am writing this short essay of my own I am hearing her voice saying the words that are being typed on the screen. This will only matter to you if you have ever heard Nora Ephron speak.)

In this last month I have found these thoughts running around in my head.

1. An acreage in the country is alot of work in the summer. People say as did we that we would love to live in the country. I think that like Sara has said that people who say "I always wanted twins" say that because they have never had twins, so do people say that about living in the country. Now I will say right now that I am happy that I live in the country. I would not want at this point in my life to live any where else. When we were looking for property in the country our realtor who did live in the country asked us if we were prepared for the amount of time and work that it took to keep up an acreage. We said yes. We both had grown up in the country but not on a large acreage. It is alot of work. Especially this year with all of the rain. The grass continually grows. You might say "You have boys let them mow" I do but then there is the upkeep on a riding mower and the gas to run the mower. The grass is not real grass but a hay field that is impersonating grass so the seeds get in every flower garden that I have and with all the rain grow like crazy. And have to be cleaned out. Since we no longer have an outdoor dog the deer think that my trees and new shrubs and garden look very appetizing and graze on them while I sleep. I found a recipe for deer repelent that you spray on things and it works but that means that every time it rains or at least once a week you need to redo it. And again with all the rain we have gotten this year, needless to say I have made alot of batches of deer repelent.

2. Just within the last month I can say from the depths of my heart that I would not like to be young again. I wish my body didn't have to age and that I did not have to examine my face every morning looking for another hair that thinks my chin is my eyebrow and look at how my eyebrows are barely there now but I would not like to be young again. I am glad that I have learned the lessons that I learned and can have those experiences to draw on. It is peaceful way to live. Its true-knowledge is power.
Knowledge is gained by one of two ways. We can listen to counsel and do it the way that was suggested. We can reject counsel or never seek counsel and do things that way. Either way involves doing. I wish I would have done more seeking. I could have had less regret and shame to deal with. Because know matter what your age those to love to visit you in the night.

3. I am going to be 50 in January and I can honestly say in my mind and heart that I don't mind it. Just like I can honestly say that I love black and white. I have tried not being so taken with that comination. Tried to be someone else but I am ready now to embrace my likes and dislikes. I like other colors but my favorite color changes like the wind. What I like today probably will be different in two years. But.there is something about black and white. And just plain white. A crisp white bouse with a comfortable pair of jeans. Love it. An all black outfit with gold or silver accesories. Love it.
I love color to but when it comes to feeling confident, on top of my game and comfortable. I love black and white.
I have in the past stayed away from buying more of these colors all though I do have a drawer full of white casual shirts in my dresser at this time. Each a different style and again I like them all.
There is alot to be said for classic styling. I love it.

That is my ranting for now. Really the message should be love where you are at. And right now I enjoy the country. I am at peace with my age and actually enjoy the look at the future. And I will probably buy more white shirts because I like them. You can never have enough bright white shirts.